The Honeymoon Heist

from Sidewinder Mooneye by Mooneye

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lyrics

She caught my tooth with ring finger knuckle
Cut the side of the top of the back of her hand
Then we drove all night to the home in Kentucky
Of the Justice of the Peace of the town of Beaver Dam

Later that night in the dark hotel lobby
Took a drink from a flask from a man from out east
Soon we were plannin’ a daring bank robbery
In the floor in the hall in our honeymoon suite

It seemed a good way to pay for the wedding
And the truck and the trailer and the bills all past due
We consumated our marriage together
Then over breakfast, over coffee, we had an overview

I’d hold the clerks and tellers at gunpoint
To take them to the back to tie up their arms
The man from out east would bag up the money
We’d get Darlin’ to get in the get-away car

The heist would’ve worked except for one reason
Down the street, down the block, down a short flight of steps
Walked all of the cops of the 17th precinct
To go to the bank to cash their paychecks

So they all bust in and foil our stickup
“On your knees, on the ground, on the double!” they said
We dropped the bags without takin’ a nickle
To the door, to the car, to the hideout we fled

The cops gave pursuit and pulled at their triggers
As quick as they could, as the car came around
And they hit my poor wife, and wouldn’t it figure
On the side of the top of the back of her hand.

So the chase was all over, and the police were itchin’
To nail us, to jail us, to cell with two goons
As far as my wife, well she won’t go to prison
She ran off with the cop with the bags with the loot

credits

from Sidewinder Mooneye, released February 16, 2010

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